Looking Back and Pressing On

August 27, 2011

When I wrote my last post I thought it would take such a long time to get to where I am today but looking back what seems like forever ago has been mere months, yet God has been so kind and gracious in truly restoring my joy not in the things of this world like relationships, or my job, or school, but in HIM. Once I lifted my eyes and refocused on the One who truly loves me and provides ALL satisfaction the little things that were bothering me became smaller and less bothersome and life became more gratifying. I felt stronger and better able to face the "giants" I thought were holding me down.

It began with facing the enemy and telling him once again that he has no power here. Yes, I am a sinner, a weak and sinful creature who desires to play god, but, I HAVE ONE WHO DIED FOR MY SINS AND DECLARED ME RIGHTEOUS BEFORE A HOLY GOD! He saw who I was and that I could never satisfy the laws of God on my own and He chose to make a way for me because HE LOVES ME! There is was...another lie I could put to death...I am not unlovable because Jesus loves me and if He can love me in spite of the ugliness of my sins then I can love myself and I can learn to love others and most importantly, I can love HIM! I can forgive those who have wronged me this past year because none of them have sinned against me as much as I have sinned against God. Wow, see how changing focus starts a snowball effect? lol See, then, I wanted to share what God was doing in me with others in my life, which included complete honesty and confession of my own sin. Talk about a humbling experience.

I have to say that sitting down with my pastor and dear friend, Mike, and with my caregroup leader's wife and dear friend, Jen, was one of the best decisions that I made. It was emotional, tough, humbling, revealing and rewarding. It allowed me to come up with a plan of action to move forward with accountability so that I might continue to pursue God and righteousness. It doesn't mean I need to let go of the dreams I have for my life, it just means that I now have 3 godly woman to help me keep them in perspective with God's will for my life. It means I have help staying focused on God's Word and spending time with Him first and foremost because the minute I lose sight of that and make something worldly my priority, I'm no longer looking back, I'm running back and I don't want to run back, I want to press on toward the prize.

Philippians 3:7-21 "But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith— that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead

Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own. Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. Let those of us who are mature think this way, and if in anything you think otherwise, God will reveal that also to you. Only let us hold true to what we have attained.

Brothers, join in imitating me, and keep your eyes on those who walk according to the example you have in us. For many, of whom I have often told you and now tell you even with tears, walk as enemies of the cross of Christ. Their end is destruction, their god is their belly, and they glory in their shame, with minds set on earthly things. But our citizenship is in heaven, and from it we await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, who will transform our lowly body to be like his glorious body, by the power that enables him even to subject all things to himself."


If you believe that you cannot attain true joy and complete satisfaction in this life you are mistaken. I know this to be true. It comes in knowing Jesus Christ and walking with Him daily.
He did not have to continue to pursue me when I pushed him away for other things but He did. He did not have to lift me up when I fell on my face after I found those things to be false and disappointing but He did. And He does not need to walk with me now on a daily basis filling me anew each morning but He does because it pleases Him. What better love is there? None. I dare you to find the man here that can compare...you won't. Unless he walks with Christ, he won't even be able to try. From here on out I wait on my Prince because I believe in the fairytale that He has written for me :-)